Some days there’s a battle in my brain. Between the right intuitive side and the left analytical side. All over my vitki work. It goes something like this.
The left side takes control. My thoughts turn a bit negative. It starts saying things like “This is all malarkey”. “There is no truth to any of this”. “You’re deluding yourself”. “You’re doing nothing to help others”. And the biggie “You’re just crazy”.
These thoughts get me in a pretty dark place. I think about throwing all of my books away. Ditching my runes. Stripping myself clear of all my esoteric trappings. Believing there’s no place for magic. Acting like a “normal” person.
I hate when this happens. Whenever the left side of my brain takes over like that I luckily have a tool to combat it. The work of a Vitki itself
I get myself centered. I do a rune reading. I do a seidr session. I read the Lore. All of these things are powerful tools to combat the analytical left side. I somehow always realize that I’m happier with the right side in the driver’s seat. And I turn to my work to make everything better again.
If I’ve learned anything about myself it’s that I’m happier with the right side of my brain in control. I just function more effectively when it is. I’m more pleasant to be around. I get things done. I feel connected to the multiverse. Things feel more in balance. Sorry left side. You’re important and all but I need the right side at the helm.
So maybe I am not really that balanced. I’m a better person with things tipped a little to the right. I can deal with being unbalanced if it means effectively following my path. So call me mentally unbalanced. Things just go better that way!
My kindred sib once asked me why I read so much. I was always talking about a book I had just read or was reading. She couldn’t believe I read so much.
For one thing it’s very easy to read a lot when you don’t have a TV. We haven’t had one in over two years and I don’t miss it at all. I have nothing to distract me. It’s very easy to read as much as I do when you’re not thinking about what will happen next time on a weekly show. I recommend getting rid of the distraction of TV and focus your energy and attention on something productive — like being more adept at your art.
I also read nonfiction almost exclusively. No fluff fiction for me! Okay to be totally honest I do read the Oz books by Baum. But other than that and the stories in the Lore I read almost only Asatru themed material. There’s plenty out there to keep me busy! Books on the runes and seidr are my favorites of course!
My attitude towards books is that if I get one good idea I can incorporate into my works and practices it’s a successful book. You’d be surprised how many books meet that criteria. Almost every book I read has at least one good idea. So you have to read a lot to keep yourself growing in your practices. Look for the next great piece to the never ending puzzle that is a vitki life. That’s the way it is for me anyway.
Then there are the books you write. I have vitki books that I keep. I have several but if you’re organized one will certainly do. I keep track of all my work sessions in a journal. I have one for runes, one for bindrunes, one for seidr — you get the idea. But I find it vital to keep a record of my work. That way I can see my progress. It helps keep me on the course.
So you see why books are so important to me. They are vital for my growth. They help keep me focused on the task at hand. And I am so glad our TV died!
I confess I was happy in my comfort zone. For nearly 20 years I was content. I studied runic authors who spoon fed me. Gave me lists of meanings (complete with “keywords”) that I merely had to memorize. Then all I had to do was run through a list and plug in the appropriate meaning for any circumstances. Easy. Simple. One dimensional.
But for the last year or so I’ve found a new batch of authors who have a different approach. They quote the Rune Poems and give an overview of potential meanings. And then they encourage me through thought provoking questions and requiring me to meditate to come up with my own list of meanings. A lot more work for me to be sure but much more rewarding.
I’m finding myself using the intuitive side of my brain in regards to the runes. Before I really only was using the analytical side. Keeping my studies focused on the clear hard interpretations given by an author. But now I was finding new freedom in coming up with my own meanings. Through concentrated meditation thoughts were blooming. I was allowing and trusting my own processes in learning.
Certainly a lot of my meanings were influenced by the studying I had done all those years. I couldn’t break totally free of my past ways of thinking. But a lot of the meanings came more solidly from the Lore. A lot were jazz rifts on the Poems. All of it is eye openly freeing.
I’m not totally sure where this new approach will lead me. I do know that from now on I will rely more on my own discoveries. No more lists of memorized meanings for this vitki!
When most people talk about their spiritual journey they talk about it as a path. I even use that metaphor sometimes. But I really view my spiritual journey as a huge multi-lane superhighway. Not very rustic I realize but it more accurately describes my experiences.
Being on my journey is a little complicated. I need to have more than one lane available to me. I admit I am not a reconstructionist Vitki. I find great value in the traditions and teachings of many cultures. For example I use chakras in my vitki work. Not very Northern Path but it works for me. So why not use it? I am sure the ancestors used all methods available to them to achieve a goal. Every tool available was used. And so I use as many different traditions as I need to achieve my purpose. I can switch lanes on the highway.
Also like a highway I sometimes need the slow lane and sometimes the fast lanes. Nothing wrong in traveling at different speeds from time to time. I confess to going through periods of speedier growth and periods of just trudging along. I think that’s true for all people.
Sometimes I need to get off the highway completely for a rest stop. That’s okay too. On a long journey sometimes you just gotta pull over and rest. Or get some fuel. Plenty of time to chill for a bit.
So you can see why I prefer the metaphor of a superhighway. It suits my journey. So look for me on the road and wave as you pass me. But don’t forget to use your turn signal!
About six months ago I started a Facebook group called the Vitki/Volva Forum. My purpose was to see if there was any interest in a group to discuss the esoteric side of Asatru — mainly the runes and seidr.
At first it seemed like a flop. I remember getting all excited when we reached 25 members. I was doing a lot of posts just to try to get conversations going. It seemed doomed to become a failure.
Now we’re at over 475 members! I get requests daily to join. I turn away as many as I accept. The group is large — but lively. There are posts every day of a very serious nature. Comments are thoughtful and on target. Sure we have a lot of”lurkers” but it’s my hope that they are learning as much as I am. And I learn every day! It’s become a group of seriously wonderful people all on the same path. The paths are different for each of us but still the same goal — to learn and teach.
It’s become an amazing entity all its own. A living breathing place where people can exchange points of view and experiences. It is more than I had ever imagined it could be.
Thanks to all of you on the Forum. You have made my vision a reality. I can’t wait to see where it all heads!
My heartfelt thanks to all who make the Forum a success story. Keep posting and commenting! Continue on the journey of exploring your path. I’ll be journeying with you!