I have fears and doubts. About being a Vitki. Big doubts that have plagued me for as long as I’ve done this work. So I turned to my friend Ivy. She said it was time I met Loki. Oh great I thought. But I trust Ivy so I figured I’d give it a go.
I went into my ritual room. I burned some incense. I drummed. I chanted. I got myself into a trance state. Then it began.
I’m not sure where I was in the nine realms. I normally can identify where I am but this place was just all white. Not cold and white like Niflheim. Just white. And there he was. Loki approached me. He was burning and on fire. He asked me what I needed. I told him I needed to get rid of my doubts. He said he could help me. A bit wary I asked him what the payment would be. He said not to worry. My having MS was my payment. Especially one particular symptom. He assured me we’d been working together for years without my knowing it. He told me he was the one who put the doubts in my head in the first place. Gee thanks Loki!
Loki then told me the doubts were put in my head to make me stronger. By overcoming these doubts I would be a healthier Vitki. Then he told me to take his hand. I did. In a flash I was on fire. I felt myself burning hot. Finally he dropped my hands. He told me the fire had burned away the doubts and fears.
Then he asked me what was in the bag I’d brought with me. Sure enough there was a big bag at me feet. I noticed that my flesh was no longer charred and burned. I was glad for that.
I told Loki that the bag had all of my emotional crap in it. He told me we were off to the dwarves to have them shape the stuff in the bag into something of use. I agreed. Loki picked up the bag and we were off.
Suddenly we were at the mouth of a cave. Now we were in Svartalfheim. This place I recognized. Loki took the bag and disappeared into the cave. A while passed and he returned with a dwarf. The dwarf had a beautiful silver knife with jewels in the handle. The dwarf handed it to me and told me that it was to kill my doubts and fears should they return. It had been shaped by the stuff in my bag. I thanked him and Loki and the trance ended.
Whew! Ivy told me this is an exercise she gives her students. Cool. So the moral of this story for me is don’t fear Loki. He can help. And if I want something to slay my doubts with go to the dwarves!