I had the thought today that perhaps I’m overexposed. I have this blog. I have my book. I recently gave an interview on the podcast Gifts of the Wyrd. I have my YouTube channel. I’m everywhere. Maybe people are just sick of hearing my voice.
But my next thought was that what I’m doing is trying to expose the world to what a full time Vitki does. In ancient times there was no such thing as multimedia. A Vitki was confined to their immediate surroundings. I’m sure if they were given the chance they too would have spread the word.
Why do I care so much that people know about what a Vitki does? Because I believe with all my heart that a Vitki still has a role to play in modern society. We are the keepers of magic and sorcery. We bring vivid life to the overlooked and unseen. We remind the world of a time when things beyond our five senses and scientific proof were very much alive. And we view the world with a sense of awe and wonder. We are the gatekeepers to the life beyond our ordinary life.
So with all that in mind is it even remotely possible to be overexposed? I say no. I wear my calling on my sleeve and shout it from the hilltop. I am proud to be called to such noble work. And I’ll keep sharing about it to the world until I’m physically incapable of doing so anymore. I am a Vitki. It’s as simple and as complicated as that.
So I have an apprentice who’s always Manannán this and Manannán that. I realized he was a deity I had no first hand knowledge of. So I figured it was time for a little trip to meet this dude.
I dug out my drum. I burned some incense. I started playing my drum and chanting the name of Manannán. Soon I was in a trance.
I was on the shore of a river. I could see across the waters there was a man in a boat paddling his way towards me. As he got closer I could see he had long strawberry blonde hair and wasn’t wearing a shirt. And he was muscular ! As a gay man of course I took notice of that!
He paddled across the river and up on to the shore. His big arms had no problem with this task. He got out of the boat and approached me.
“You wanted to see me?” I asked if he was indeed Manannán. “Who else would have made the effort to cross the river to greet you here? You realize you don’t need to worry about me ferrying you across for some time. Unless you’re ready to go now!” This he said with a smile. I assured him I was good thanks. “Are you in need of a foster father?” I told him Cernunnos was taking care of that for me. “ If that doesn’t work out keep me in mind. I’m pretty good at that” again with the smile. “Well you’ve met me now. And there’s nothing I seem to be able to help you with. So I’ll leave you with this piece of information. I’m older than the tribes themselves. So I truly belong to none though I have been known to affiliate with one or the other. But I really am older than that.” I assured him he didn’t look old. “Why would I want to look old when I can look like this?” Now he flexed his impressive muscles. He got in his boat and started back across the river. And that’s where my trance ended. That was my meeting with Manannán. Wow!
I have fears and doubts. About being a Vitki. Big doubts that have plagued me for as long as I’ve done this work. So I turned to my friend Ivy. She said it was time I met Loki. Oh great I thought. But I trust Ivy so I figured I’d give it a go.
I went into my ritual room. I burned some incense. I drummed. I chanted. I got myself into a trance state. Then it began.
I’m not sure where I was in the nine realms. I normally can identify where I am but this place was just all white. Not cold and white like Niflheim. Just white. And there he was. Loki approached me. He was burning and on fire. He asked me what I needed. I told him I needed to get rid of my doubts. He said he could help me. A bit wary I asked him what the payment would be. He said not to worry. My having MS was my payment. Especially one particular symptom. He assured me we’d been working together for years without my knowing it. He told me he was the one who put the doubts in my head in the first place. Gee thanks Loki!
Loki then told me the doubts were put in my head to make me stronger. By overcoming these doubts I would be a healthier Vitki. Then he told me to take his hand. I did. In a flash I was on fire. I felt myself burning hot. Finally he dropped my hands. He told me the fire had burned away the doubts and fears.
Then he asked me what was in the bag I’d brought with me. Sure enough there was a big bag at me feet. I noticed that my flesh was no longer charred and burned. I was glad for that.
I told Loki that the bag had all of my emotional crap in it. He told me we were off to the dwarves to have them shape the stuff in the bag into something of use. I agreed. Loki picked up the bag and we were off.
Suddenly we were at the mouth of a cave. Now we were in Svartalfheim. This place I recognized. Loki took the bag and disappeared into the cave. A while passed and he returned with a dwarf. The dwarf had a beautiful silver knife with jewels in the handle. The dwarf handed it to me and told me that it was to kill my doubts and fears should they return. It had been shaped by the stuff in my bag. I thanked him and Loki and the trance ended.
Whew! Ivy told me this is an exercise she gives her students. Cool. So the moral of this story for me is don’t fear Loki. He can help. And if I want something to slay my doubts with go to the dwarves!
giftsofthewyrd.podbean.com. That’s the address for the podcast on which I was interviewed recently. Gifts of the Wyrd. I talk about being a full time Vitki and inclusive heathenry. Check it out! Hope to be in your ears soon! And if you have a chance check out my channel on YouTube. Four posts so far! I’m a busy Vitki. Check it out! Thanks!
Tonight is the full moon. I decided to do a trance session to commemorate it. Here’s what happened.
I waited till the moon was out. I lit some juniper incense. I lit some candles. I got out my drum and started drumming. As I drummed I chanted the name Cerridwen. As a moon goddess I find it appropriate to honor her at the moon’s different aspects. I chanted and drummed for several minutes swaying gently to put myself into trance. Soon I felt the shift in my consciousness that signals I am in a working trance.
It took almost no time before I saw Cerridwen. She was seated on a stool. She was stirring a brew in a caldron. Her long black hair fell over her face obscuring her features. I stayed there watching her at her work. Suddenly she looked up at me. Sharp blue eyes caught me in their gaze. “Come. Drink the brew. Gain wisdom.” Frightened but drawn by the hope of gaining wisdom I slowly stepped towards the caldron. She stopped stirring and handed me a ladle. As I stood at the brim of the caldron I leaned down to get some of the brew. In a heartbeat Cerridwen pushed me by my shoulders face first into the caldron. Down I went. But the caldron had no bottom. It became a tunnel. The tunnel went fast and deep down underground. Soon I found myself in the Underworld. It was twilight and very still. From around the corner of a mound of earth came my old friend Cernunnos. He approached me and said “ You are here for wisdom. You wish to study magic?” I nodded my head in the affirmative. “Then come here to learn. To ease your journey here burn mugwort. The gods and goddesses will be here when you’re ready. They will assist you.” Then suddenly the trance was over. I had seen what I was meant to see. The full moon shone down.