Losing my religion

That’s me in the corner. That’s me in the spotlight. Just like the old REM song I’m losing my religion. And I’m not at all in a panic over it.

I’ve had dry patches before. This is different. I feel a profound sense of change sweeping over me. People change. People grow. And that’s what’s happening to me. I’m shedding an old skin. One that has served me well for over a decade. But I’m evolving.

This has been coming for the better part of the past year. I’ve been branching out. Trying new things. Learning new things. Things about myself. Especially spiritually. I have come to a clearer better vision of myself as a spiritual being.

What has precipitated this change?  I can simply no longer call myself a practitioner of Asatru. Why not?  In one word — race.

I’ve been an Asatruar for well over a decade. And in that time people have been discussing the role of race in the religion. Or at times screaming about it. I venture a guess that nearly no other religion talks about this issue as much. It seems that every post I read online and every Asatru publication talks about it. Till they’re blue in the face. Which needs to be done I suppose. But this is one fighter who is bowing out of the discussion.

As a gay man with a Jewish husband a black daughter and biracial grandchildren I fight the fight locally and personally. I expect my religion to be a sanctuary not a battlefield. No matter how worthy the cause.

If this means I’m just not of a warrior mindset I would beg to differ. I fight the fight against MS daily. I fight the battle of being in recovery from alcohol dependency. I fought the battle of being the only openly gay man in a farming community. I fight constantly. Some battles I win some not so much. But I do keep fighting when necessary. I just feel that Asatru as a religion should have settled the race issue years ago.

What does this mean after all?  For me it’s adopting a new label. I’ve decided Neopagan Druid suits me best. I’m still a Vitki. I still work with the Norse pantheon in that respect. No need to change that. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. So I’m not abandoning the gods. Just opening myself to something even bigger. And in my mind better.

So Asatru!  Grow up!  Get over the whole race thing already. Both sides of the argument spend way too much energy on it. Energy that could be put to better use. Like feeding the homeless. Or any other of a host of spiritual problems. That’s what I intend to do.

Author: vitkimusings

A fifty-something Vitki living in the suburbs of Chicago. Follower of the Nordic Path for the last twelve years. Student of runes and seidr for the last five years. Always learning and growing!

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