My mind has been a blur lately. I try to grasp ahold of ideas and thoughts — no good. I just keep wallowing around in a sticky thick mess of yuck. I did a little gratitude ritual the other day. Thanking the gods and multiverse for all the marvelous things in my life. Perhaps that’s the problem! Life is too good. I’m not used to that. I’ve always been in a struggle of some sort or another. I need to relax into the new norm. I do work now for others mostly. It fulfills me. I enjoy being of service. I want to be of service. I need to be of service. But the blur… I tell myself to breathe. So I breathe. That definitely helps. Writing this helps. Being present helps. I challenge myself to meditate on the good. To appreciate the good and feel its power. I will do a working to clear my head. I will light candles and burn incense. I will drum. I will chant. I will reconnect to my gods and see what they have to say to me. I am a contemporary Vitki.
There are times in my career as a Contemporary Vitki that things have gone astray. I set my intentions and go to town only to be derailed by the multiverse. My strongest held intentions are just not right for the situation at hand. The multiverse will send me to another realm. Or bring about an entirety different ending than what I had in mind. What do I do when this occurs? I get mad as hell! I curse and stomp and generally act the fool. Then I finally calm down. And I look at things more reasonably and I of course realize that what came about is actually better than I intended! The multiverse has a much better view of the big picture and can work to do what really needs to be done. I forget that although I am a powerful contemporary Vitki I am after all only human as well. Sigh. I hate when my shortcomings rear their ugly heads and talk out. But the bottom line is that with my experience I have learned to trust the multiverse. I know it’s truly got my back. I can stop freaking out and relax. So I do. Take my word for it. Sometimes when things go differently than you intended it’s a good thing. So relax. Go with it. The multiverse knows a thing or two. Sometimes it works perfectly as you intended. But sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes you never know.
We never truly know where our path will take us. Oh sure we can plan and be forward moving and all but we can’t never be sure of where or how things will work out. The gods have this habit of throwing stuff in our path that we need to deal with. Crud. Sometimes I’d just like to be left alone! But no. So I just keep on trudging…
I’m not complaining. I’ve dealt pretty well so far. Every challenge is really just a chance to grow. I definitely want to grow!
There is always a place we can grow. None of us are so far advanced that we can’t branch out and be even more. If I’m a tree I have a lot of branches! And that’s just the way I’d like it to be.
Remember we’re here to learn and grow. Staying stagnant is not a real option. At least not for me. I feel as if I am dying if I’m not doing or learning or trying something new. The world never ceases to provide opportunity for change. I try to make it my part to do a little poking around. Sometimes I find treasure! Sometimes I get into trouble. But I keep on poking. It’s the hallmark of a Contemporary Vitki to keep going. So I do.
I can always write a new book. I can write a blog post. I can make a video. I can make myself available online. I can call others on the same path. So much to do. I plan to make sure it’s not all done when I close my eyes the last time. I want my legacy to be a path well traveled but still ready for others to take up and blaze onward on. I keep walking…
I have dolls. Fashion dolls like Barbie. And Ken. I have around 45 total. I also have six drawers full of fashions and various accessories. This is so I can redress them. And I do redress them. I would say I redress a couple a day. And I love it. It brings me happiness and joy. For me playing dolls is a spiritual act.
The first way redressing and playing with dolls is spiritual is in the fact that this act is a form of meditation for me. I fall into a meditative state as I fasten little snaps and zip tiny zippers. The repetition of these movements help to calm me and settle my racing mind. Combing hair is a great action to still a frantic mind. The act of meditation is of course a spiritual act. It gives you the chance to clear your mind and allow messages from beyond to be received. I get some powerful spiritual messages during doll play. I look forward to that being a benefit of this type activity. Spiritual play brings spiritual peace.
The dolls have come to stand in for the many aspects of my mind. There’s the doll that means “love” because it was a gift from my hubby. A certain doll means “casualness” because his outfit is loose and easy. And so on. Every doll means a part of myself separated and examined as it’s own entity. This is a powerful spiritual activity. I can step outside of myself to gain a fresh look at my Self. I am allowed to view things anew in this manner. Dolls offer me a way to accomplish this.
These are ways that my dolls are my spiritual tools and allies. I find myself getting closer to my gods and my own truth through my play with them. Rather than outgrow these toys they have morphed in meaning to remain relevant. And I hope they will do so for years to come. Hail Barbie!
It always surprises me when folks reach out to me to let me know that my work has somehow impacted their lives. I get messages from real life everyday folks about twice a week. It always humbles and amazes me. I certainly never set out to change people’s lives but apparently I have. Which is a huge honor. And I take it very seriously. I am grateful that people feel comfortable reaching out to me. I try to reply to all of them honestly and respectfully. It baffles me. But pleases me all the same.
Why do I do what I do? When I started down this path some 25 years ago there wasn’t that much information out there about esoteric experiences. So I started writing about five years ago. I started with this blog. I thought I’d just share what happened to me. I had no intention or hope that others would be affected by it at all. I just wrote. Then I did a book. And another. And a Facebook forum. Then a Facebook page. All with the intent of simply sharing. That’s what I’ve continued to do. I keep sharing.
I try to stay away from controversial subjects. I make sure my words are true and honorable. I am careful of what I send out into the multiverse. It’s not that hard. I just imagine I’m handing anything I write into my spinster strict high school English teacher! And I try to live a good life.
This has become a part of my path. I now reach people. And that is a huge responsibility that I take seriously. I have become an elder. Through no plan of my own. By simply living a decent life and sharing with the multiverse what I do. It’s a good place to be. I am thankful the gods have stood by my side and walked this path with me. And I remain humble and thankful for it all.
Thanks for allowing me the honor of being a part of your path. Thanks for keeping me humble and grateful. Thanks for keeping me on my own path. For all of that I simply say “Thanks”.